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On Writing and Reviews
(this has come up - again - in a specific fandom, and I just needed to jot something down. Ignore it as needed.)
From as far back as I can remember, I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. Or, as I evidently said it (remember I was British, then) aut-orh. (Yes, I was an odd child.)
Writing and reading make up large portions of my life. It's one of those things that I don't even think about anymore, they're just lumped in there with eating and drinking and sleeping and showering. I like to write. More than that, it feels like it's necessary for me to write, like the ideas would overwhelm my mind if I left them cramped up in their closets and dusty corners and tried to lock them away.
I tell you this, because I need you to know where I'm coming from. I write. It's the only thing that I know to be constant in my life. Where I want to live, who I want to be with, if my family and friends will visit or if I'm imagining cutting all ties and disappearing into the night, the only thing I know for sure is that I'll be writing while I'm doing it.
I don't write for reviews.
If I wrote for reviews, I certainly wouldn't be writing Alan/Ian Jurassic Park slash. Who's reading that?
HOWEVER.
I could just as easily write fic and leave it to gather dust on my hard drive. I could fill up notebooks with fic (and I have, with badfic) and leave them stuffed into drawers. Instead, I post it online, hoping that maybe someone will like it, maybe someone will appreciate it, maybe it will have an effect on someone, or maybe just that it will allow someone a decent way to pass a few minutes of time.
Writing - and this is my opinion, and solely my opinion - is more than just committing words to a paper. When I write, I feel that in some ways I am baring myself to the world (or perhaps just to the two people who wander by and read it). My interpretations of the characters, my choice of words and themes, they all reflect on me, sketch out myself in ways I don't always want to admit. Just like theater, just like being on stage felt emotionally baring even as I pretended to be someone else, writing is like that.
So when I put something out into the world, and there is silence - silence, and I know someone is out there, that's unnerving. It's not a good feeling. It's not terrible, it's not going to stop me from writing, but am I less inclined to share my work, to share myself if I am greeted by silence? Perhaps this makes me petty or needy or clingy, but yes, yes of course it does.
I would rather have a sneer, a metaphorical slap in the face, than silence.
So yes. I like reviews. Long or short, positive or negative, critical or incoherent, I appreciate the fact that anyone would take the time out to jot down anything to let me know that I haven't risked myself for nothing.
I just find it really unfair when people take a critical point of view of this - that if someone like reviews they must be a glory hound, etc. It makes me wonder if they've ever written something they cared about, that meant something to them, and had it be discarded as if unimportant.
I most certainly have. I think, at one time or another, most people have. I'm not going to lie, it hurts.
Anyway, that's my two cents on the subject. Sorry for the utter rambling this dissolved into at some point. Hugs and kisses all that. ;)
From as far back as I can remember, I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. Or, as I evidently said it (remember I was British, then) aut-orh. (Yes, I was an odd child.)
Writing and reading make up large portions of my life. It's one of those things that I don't even think about anymore, they're just lumped in there with eating and drinking and sleeping and showering. I like to write. More than that, it feels like it's necessary for me to write, like the ideas would overwhelm my mind if I left them cramped up in their closets and dusty corners and tried to lock them away.
I tell you this, because I need you to know where I'm coming from. I write. It's the only thing that I know to be constant in my life. Where I want to live, who I want to be with, if my family and friends will visit or if I'm imagining cutting all ties and disappearing into the night, the only thing I know for sure is that I'll be writing while I'm doing it.
I don't write for reviews.
If I wrote for reviews, I certainly wouldn't be writing Alan/Ian Jurassic Park slash. Who's reading that?
HOWEVER.
I could just as easily write fic and leave it to gather dust on my hard drive. I could fill up notebooks with fic (and I have, with badfic) and leave them stuffed into drawers. Instead, I post it online, hoping that maybe someone will like it, maybe someone will appreciate it, maybe it will have an effect on someone, or maybe just that it will allow someone a decent way to pass a few minutes of time.
Writing - and this is my opinion, and solely my opinion - is more than just committing words to a paper. When I write, I feel that in some ways I am baring myself to the world (or perhaps just to the two people who wander by and read it). My interpretations of the characters, my choice of words and themes, they all reflect on me, sketch out myself in ways I don't always want to admit. Just like theater, just like being on stage felt emotionally baring even as I pretended to be someone else, writing is like that.
So when I put something out into the world, and there is silence - silence, and I know someone is out there, that's unnerving. It's not a good feeling. It's not terrible, it's not going to stop me from writing, but am I less inclined to share my work, to share myself if I am greeted by silence? Perhaps this makes me petty or needy or clingy, but yes, yes of course it does.
I would rather have a sneer, a metaphorical slap in the face, than silence.
So yes. I like reviews. Long or short, positive or negative, critical or incoherent, I appreciate the fact that anyone would take the time out to jot down anything to let me know that I haven't risked myself for nothing.
I just find it really unfair when people take a critical point of view of this - that if someone like reviews they must be a glory hound, etc. It makes me wonder if they've ever written something they cared about, that meant something to them, and had it be discarded as if unimportant.
I most certainly have. I think, at one time or another, most people have. I'm not going to lie, it hurts.
Anyway, that's my two cents on the subject. Sorry for the utter rambling this dissolved into at some point. Hugs and kisses all that. ;)
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Yes, *exactly*. That's exactly what I mean <3
Thank you, hun.
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For me, there's this weird grey area between WRITING and SHARING. For sure. I have been a creative person my entire life and even before I knew how to actually write, I was making up stories. It's just the way I'm built. I write because I don't know any other way to exist in this world. But God knows, I do not share everything I write. And I've written years worth of really awfully written stuff. I mean, wow, just terrible. That's not going to get shared any time soon.
If I'm being honest, I know my strengths and the best of my talents do not lie in writing fanfic. (I'm much better at screenplay style writing, or non-fiction writing.) But I do enjoy writing it, and my head is constantly bursting with ideas that I will never have the time to write. I could write them and never post, but you know, everyone in the world wants to be validated for something and I think sharing is part of that. You want to write something and have others go, "I feel that way too!" or "Hey, great insight! I never thought about that character/relationship/story in that way before!" because it makes you feel less crazy about how you think and feel. (Especially when you ship non-canon! LOL.)
So while I don't write FOR reviews nor do I think we are OWED them, I do feel like as writers we are putting our work out there and opening it up to all sorts of feedback, the good, the bad and the ridiculous. And any writer will tell you, everything you write is a little piece of you, so when no one seems to be listening? It does sting.
And now I'm rambling, but that's because it's 4 a.m. and I'm high on Diet Mountain Dew. Wooohoooooooooo.
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And yesss - validation. I will totally admit I like validation. And LOL, yes, I ship non-canon often, so definitely.
Also I'm extremely amused that you were around and online at 4am as well. <3 Thank you for the, ahem, validation, my dear ;)